Ok now I'm irritated. The day started positively enough. Large bowel movement, good xray and the doctor said start clears! Kyle however had a different idea. He only sipped and refused most everything. Then Alan had to leave and go back to Idaho. I knew it was coming but I despaired none-the-less. I feel myself pulling away from the new reality - that I'm alone with a sick child in a strange city and I know no one except the doctors. Picking up all the responsibility for Kyle is a heavy weight. After a few mopy hours, cuddling Kyle and a cry I think I've accepted the unchangeable. I'm still irritable, but that's part of how I can walk up this mountain with such a heavy load. It was wonderful to have Alan here all this time. I really shared the burden of the hospitalization this time. It really helped. I love Alan so much. He is such a strength to me and I was so impressed by his "doctor mode". He handled things professionally. It was neat to watch. I have taken pride in my abilities to do the same and I'm doing that now. It was just nice to share that responsibility. Kyle also took significant amounts of comfort from his Dad. Now it's the Mom and Kyle show once again.
The rest of the day hasn't been much better. Our nurse changed four times. That'd be ok if it was the first shift it's happened on, but it's the third! We have had 6 different nurses in 24 hours! In all the shuffle he missed a few doses of pain meds and was hurting alot! Not cool.
Better yet Kyle developed a fever. The highest we measured so far was 101.4. Darn it. So cultures were drawn and we got a chest x ray. Don't know what it's from or the results. Hopefully it's something simple.
Kyle and I snuggled a bunch today. Have to say I needed it as much as he did. Today has been a really hard day. Probably the hardest so far. I'm going to sleep. I hope tomorrow's different.
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